The End

I entered a group Mandarin course for the final week, which was a lot more fun. We got a lot more interactive work done and it's always easier because when you hit the nodding off stage, there's other people to answer the questions. One amusing aspect was that on two different days, both chaps, Dom and Kabir, arrived late and extremely tired. On both occasions, however, it wasn't because they'd been hitting the town or partying late. Dom's "Chinese mum" who he was staying with woke him up at 3 AM one night and insisted he take her to the hospital because she was supposedly in agony and dying... It turns out she had had a cramp in her shoulder and just needed to take a paracetamol. Kabir's unfortunate experience was even worse. He has a fear of animals, insects, other living creatures in general apart humans, and returned home to find 3 dead wasps in his bath. He could hear that there was a 4th one somewhere but could not find it, and consequently did not sleep at all for the entire night because he was so worried and determined to catch it. During this week, I upgraded my status from subway animal to subway warlord. I was particularly aggravated because it was freezing outside but I would overheat in my coat inside the subway, and this time there was no mercy. One morning I accidentally stepped on the toes of a woman about half my size wearing heels and although she shouted in pain, I was a hardened warrior and refused to apologise, or even acknowledge my crime. I just stared straight ahead into the window and could see her in the reflection, glaring up at me, waiting for me to notice. I can't say I'm proud of this, but all's fair in metros and war.
The time was finally upon us for our final hash run, which we were haring for (this means we were setting the trail, live, and had 15 minutes head start before the pack could chase us). Apart from not getting caught, a hare's duty is to set a great run and make sure everyone enjoys it, so after having publicised it for 2 weeks as "the best hash ever", we set off to Hangzhou in a crowded bus full of expectant hashers. Hangzhou has always traffic, so we told the driver that whatever he did, he was not to go through the West Lake. I don't need to tell you that he went through the West Lake, lost us an hour and got lost. He was getting out of the bus and asking for directions. By this time, there was a general feeling of irateness in the bus, which is never good. Terrified at the prospect of getting caught, I shot off and was not caught, although very sore the next day. It was a crazy hash, in which I was finally named after participating in at least a dozen runs. The name chosen for me was New Fresh Meat due to a young lady complaining about the amount of old men present, and I was made to strip off and be publicly doused in beer by said lady in order to make it official. I had about 2 hours of sleep that night and was leaving two days later, so figured I had better lay low (which was a little bit silly). My final meal was a final chao fan(fried rice off the street from my favourite local shop), a massive double burger with fries and a chicken burger with fries. I then went out again and got 3 hours of sleep before flying. The next morning my gap year very nearly came to an end when, loaded with my 23 kg bag on my back, I tripped and nearly fell face first down a flight of steps. I had a very satisfying conversation with the taxi driver on the way to the airport, it lasted for about 40 minutes, and although it was in very broken Chinese it was a conversation nonetheless.
My initial plan to sleep on the plane was, as usual, thwarted by some annoying little man in front of me who was trying to lean back on me. I spent the entirety of the 2 and a half hour journey holding his headrest in both hands and pushing so that he couldn't destroy my knees. This is a regular occurrence with me on planes, of course, where I entertain a sort of cold war with the rude idiot who is trying to crush me.